Delving into The Steps with Russell Brand

In Russell Brand's book Freedom from our addictions he asks readers to look at the 12 steps and note down their own feelings toward them. 

I really felt drawn to this inclusion because it acknowledges the uncertainty I feel towards 12 step programs, particularly AA, and particularly after reading more about the patriarchal history of these programs in books such as Holly Whitaker's Quit Like a Woman.

I really like Russell Brand, and have read great think pieces about his own sobriety in news articles over the years. It's also quite inspiring to think of someone as wild and playful and - let's face it, cool, being completely sober. It makes the whole thing seem pretty fun and enlightening.

So when I saw his book was on the Kindle Store for 99p, it seemed like time to dip in. I knew the book followed his interpretation of the steps, which I'm not too keen on delving into for various reasons, but I was curious to see whether he could present it in a way that I could identify with. 

The first thing that sticks out is exactly what Holly speaks about in QLAW. I texted my friend: This is the first book [on sobriety] I've read by a man instead of a woman and the difference is staggering. "Self-centred egotistical thinking is the defining attribute of the addictive condition"

Holly's book discusses how male-centred recovery programs talk about breaking the ego down, whereas as a woman, we (mostly) have addictions because we're already broken down. Recovery for me is about building myself back up.

Anyway, so seeing that familiar trope of ego being the reason for addiction really touched a nerve. 

But then, a couple of pages over, Russell invites the readers to respond to the steps. And that for me is a defining moment. I haven't read the rest of his book, I don't know if it'll resonate more or less than the others I've read. But I respect the decision to allow the journey to be the readers by inviting their own feelings into what seems to otherwise be a pretty rigid system.

So, here are the steps and my initial thoughts: I fully expect to come back to these points after I finish the book.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Don't love this step. I'm not sure how inspiring a lifetime of feeling like I'm powerless is. I agree to admitting to that alcohol isn't helping me be my best person, and I'll be (much) better off without, but I think that is gaining power, not admitting defeat.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Tricky. I'm not religious and haven't given much time to spirituality. I could get behind the idea of something else in my life being more powerful or better than my current situation.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Same as above.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Agree - though terrifying to consider and may take years to unpack.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Yes... to 2 and 3.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Hmmm...no. But I'm looking to see how Russell Brand unpacks this one in a non-Christiany way.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Very hard to answer right now - I hope to come back to these higher power related steps.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Yes, also a scary thought

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Ditto - though I do believe a lot of this would be water under the bridge and it's probably as important to apologise to myself for wasting so much of my own time.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

I really like this idea - mindfulness, slowing down, checking in with ourselves. My husband often speaks about how in every religion there is a goal of mastering yourself, knowing yourself inside out and controlling impulses. This doesn't have to be and isn't a bad thing. It's about living and acting with purpose, rather than just doing whatever the hell you want, whenever you want.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

If I change the word God for myself or my place within the world and my connection to nature and those around me (wow, that sounds pretty whoo), then yes, fully onboard.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Yes, not in a cult-y way, but yes, would I want to share ways that I've found have helped me live a better life? Sure.