Day 19: Enjoying the occasion for the occasion

I met a colleague-friend for lunch today, down by the lake where I had brunch last weekend. Once again I was perfectly content sitting and just chatting with a soda. No itching for a cool beer, no fidgety fingers. We stayed there for around an hour and it was perfectly lovely.

I discussed with him how I'd been for brunch there at the weekend and felt fine not drinking beer, despite that it one of my favourite boozy places. I then told him about struggling on the evening I went out with friends for the birthday drinks the week before.

It's obvious, he said. You feel more comfortable here, it's a beautiful setting. You want to be here because you enjoy it, not because of the booze. That's why it's got such good connotations for you. You didn't want to be at the other bar.

So simple and so true. I assumed my rose-tinted glasses perspective on boozy, sunny, Sunday brunches was all hinged on the booze. It turns out it wasn't. I thought 'great girls' nights out' were all hinged on the chat. Turns out, they aren't always.

This sounds like an epiphany, my turning moment. It's not. In fact as I wrote this I also sent my husband a 'jokey' text, floating the idea of me dropping my whole winefast nonsense and sharing a bottle of red this eve. So tempting. 

But it would be two bottles. And then I'd feel shit in the morning. And to be honest, my stomach has a knotted feeling just thinking about it.

Perhaps not.