Breaking my streak: Beers on Saturday

On Saturday evening I had a few beers at dinner.

We went out with the family to meet our Christmas holidaying friends. I discussed with hubby earlier whether or not to drink, and he said he supported either way, and could see both sides of the decision.

You can either say, yes, you've done over a month, you've broken a bad habit and done really well, so enjoy yourself, or say, well, you've come this far so why not continue?

So I decided to have a few (think ended up drinking 4 x 330ml cans of lager). Dinner was finished and wrapped up by 8.45pm, and then when we got home I put the kids to bed then went to bed myself.

I had a very bad sleep. What started out as a nice heavy, limp body, and me thinking to myself, how come I can never feel this relaxed when I don't drink? ended up me being awake for hours, restless, thirsty, needing the loo, and repeat. Honestly, the evening was great, but I really didn't enjoy that side of it.

I guess it was a reasonably moderate night - I could've (and would've in the past) suggested one more when everyone started wrapping up, but honestly it didn't even cross my mind. I also, for sure, would normally have stayed up drinking with my husband when the kids went to sleep, but instead I just went to bed, as did he.

But it does feel pretty disheartening starting at Day 1 again (or Day 2 today) after a 34 day long streak.

Also, I found that the next day, Sunday, the switch was well and truly on, so I was thinking, Hmm, shall we go somewhere for boozy brunch, or afternoon beers by the lake, or sundowners, or shall we pick up a bottle of wine on the way home from dinner?

We didn't. I didn't suggest any of those things in the end, but the floodgates felt at the very least ajar, if not yet wide open. Sober streak gone, there was, frankly, nothing to lose.

I think it's made me decide that I probably will take a couple of days off for hols and xmas day, but also, that I want to make a mindful, controlled decision, rather than just fall into habit. Is that my wine witch back? Nice and alert after her watering.

What makes it worse is that the house is all beautifully decorated for Christmas - I'd like nothing more than to sit with a bottle (or three) of red wine, watching The Family Stone and other Christmas crap, and smelling my lovely Christmassy candles and enjoying my lovely Christmassy lights. Ah well, let's see what happens.