Evenings are very quiet this week. Apart from watching Succession on Monday night, we've not had the TV on at all in the evenings. I've mostly been curled up on the sofa reading my Kindle and doing occasional google spirals on my phone.
I reread a bit of Holly's Quit Like A Woman yesterday and then started Catherine Gray's sequel to The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober - Sunshine Warm Sober. It made me feel buoyed to keep going.
Holly says in her book, people waste time trying to determine whether they are an 'alcoholic' or 'problem drinker'? Trying to tick lists to see if they can categorise themselves, and only then taking action. Instead she suggests asking yourself two questions:
Does alcohol negatively affect my life?
Yes, not always, but do I sometimes wake regretting beers, wishing I'd gone to bed earlier or feeling that armpit prickling dread/shame of a comment I've blurted out to a friend without thinking? Absolutely.
Should I take steps to address my relationship with it?
Why not? Why not just see what happens if I take a drastic step, on my own, to question why I, and society as a whole, chooses to drink, and explore what happens if I decide to go it alone, sans booze for a while?
Yesterday my husband said something along the lines of I've been saying let's cut down for a while and now suddenly you're saying let's go big or go home. Reading between the lines, I felt that he was offended that I'd decided to take action based on reading some books, rather than his persuasion or advice. It was a good question.
Why am I feeling more influenced by strangers in a book than my own husband?
To that, I'd say that we all have to do things on our own terms. Feeling coerced or pressured into a decision isn't likely to yield good results. I first read Catherine, Holly and Clare's (Pooley) books at the beginning of 2021. They planted a seed. My husband and I have had conversations over the year about resenting the reliance that we (being people, not just us personally) have on drinking in practically every social situation. Those conversations have also planted seeds. Now I'm finally ready to help those seeds grow.
This weekend is another series of tests. Potential lunch date with the girls. It's only a mile or two from my house so I'm thinking to attend and then make my excuses after a couple of lattes (while the others will be on craft beers or cocktails). Not drinking at lunch will mean I'm ready for Part 2 of Saturday:
Halloween events
So, Trick-or-Treating in the neighbourhood, which usually includes roadies for the tagalong mums. This year I'm going to skip the block drinks afterwards, which we usually have while we let the kids run around post door-knocking to get out all that sugar energy. I'm hoping to do a swapsie with hubby - so I'll take the kids door-to-door but then he supervise the playtime.
This is what I mean about drinking seeping into literally every social situation. Why does a kids trick-or-treating event not seem complete without a beer?
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