Day 2: Beers in the park - a test

As expected, up half the night tossing and turning. I swear it’s almost like a placebo effect - I know that drinking (or not) can affect sleep patterns, therefore my sleep patterns are affected. I lay awake half the early hours of this morning, and decided, as worry and fretting prevented my mind from relaxing, that a blog is the way to go. 

Felt pretty good today as I put this blog together. Think I need to keep myself reading as much literature as possible and immerse myself in the experience to keep me on track. I’ve joined Club Soda Together on facebook, a group for abstainers and moderators and that’s already felt pretty good. 

I’ve subscribed to lovely Belle’s daily emails from Tired of Thinking About Drinking and watched Clare Pooley’s TED Talk at Newnham. I think I'm in the frame of mind that this isn’t about giving something up, it’s not negative; it’s about doing something truly positive and life-affirming for myself.

I had my first test (yep, on Day 2, on a Tuesday, at 4pm - that is how pervasive alcohol is in our lives). My close friend texted me to say she was with her dogs at the park at the end of my street and did I want to come meet her for a walk.

Yes, course.

And did I want to have some 711 beers?

....

I'm not ready for this conversation with the people around me (apart from hubby). So I said yes, I'd pick up drinks on the way. I bought two Sapporos (for her) and two Heineken 0.0s (for me).

When I got to the park I unpacked the cans and said / babbled as casually as I could, 'Here we go, I'm on the zeros at the mo, feel like a bit of a detox.' No questions asked and we both sat for an hour on the grass while the dogs played.

I don't think it would have been a better hour if I'd had two Sapporos instead of the 0.0s. I definitely know it would've been a worse evening when I got home, feeling slightly groggy, tired as I made dinner and played board games with the kids, rather than Just Fine, which is how I felt.

So, I feel pretty good. That’s the second time I’ve said that. Does that make it more or less true? I can’t decide if I feel different this time to any other time I take a break from wine (and beer, and the occasional gin and tonic). That’s partly why I’ve started this blog. So I can focus on the outcome I’m looking for, and not brush this quietly under the carpet again.