I don’t want to glamourise drinking, or give more of a voice to the old wine witch than she already tries to occupy in my head. But I do think there is perhaps a mindfulness exercise in writing out some of the memories and situations she is planting in my thoughts. Then I can recognise them, acknowledge them for the good memories they are, but not let them lead me away from the new goal I’ve set myself.
Pints in a pub garden in May/June
Post-work craft beers with colleagues
Red wine on the sleeper train from London to Scotland
Chilled beers on the beach / in the park / by the pool with my friends
Hot sake in Kyoto
Warm beers on the terrace of a tea plantation in Sri Lanka, watching fireflies
Beer at the airport before a flight
Glass of red wine on a long-haul flight, just before they turn the lights down
Wine with husband on the sofa
2 bottles of Malbec on my first date with my husband
Mulled wine at Christmas
BUT bad times with drinking:
The smell of last night’s Sambuca shots (never mine, I hate it!) on the serving trays at my bar job.
That mouth-filling-with-saliva moment you realise a Tequila or Jägermeister shot has not gone down well.
Standing up and realising you’ve had too many.
Lying down and closing your eyes and feeling the world spin.
Waking up at 3am, needing the loo and a glass of water.
Coming home later than you said/promised you would.
Leaving belongings in the bar or at the house you went to.
Dinner bills being twice as much.
Forgetting the end of movies / TV shows and having to rewatch them the next day.
Increasing anxiety, feeling of dread the older I’ve become.
Too much time thinking about not drinking.
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