Bless me bloggers, for I have sinned. It's been a month since my last confession.
I broke my streak and then immediately nestled myself into nice, regular holiday drinking. Lovely beers, not so much wine this time (until the week before Christmas when hubby and I settled into our nightly two bottle routine over endless Christmas movies).
The things that kept me on my pathway before - the books, the blogging/journalling, the running, all fell by the wayside, making it easier to 'enjoy' the holidays (and boozy nights) without interruption. Which I have been doing. It hasn't been awful, or even slightly bad...
...But have I woken up a few times thinking Oh Christ - why was I talking about that last night? Or Did I....sing???? Why yes, yes I have.
There was one night on holiday where I startled myself awake at about 3am. I was thirsty so drank some water and checked out my phone while I was there. There was a video of my roommates all jumping into the villa pool at about midnight. I had absolutely no recollection of us doing it and immediately felt that familiar wave of dread rush over me. Was I so drunk that I blacked out an entire pool event? What else had I done?
In the morning I did the classic sidling up to people and oh so casually mentioning the fun-ness of the night before, digging for facts. I was promptly reminded that I'd left the restaurant early and gone to bed at 9, had had nothing to do with the pool shenanigans and my non-existent memory was actually due to me falling asleep in front of the Grinch in my room with the children. The relief that I hadn't 'forgotten' what happened, because I hadn't even been there, was incredible.
I could have that feeling alllll the time! The nice cosy feeling of ahhhhh... I was home and dry in ma bed.
I've dug Holly's book out of the old Kindle dust pile again, and am starting my rereads. I'm not at Day 1 yet (though actually just realised I'm finished Day 2), but hey...every bit of practice at living a freer life is good.
